I have that crushing pain in my chest. You know, the kind where breathing hurts; it labors in loss of love. There are moments it dulls, then moments it sits with me like an unwelcome guest.

The heart is truly a reflection of love and loss. And really why should we trust anything else?

What I know right now is pain and I trust that because I really feel it. It’s an appropriate emotion considering the state of our society. I feel sickened by the perversions of rich, white men. And isolated by the restrictions of a pandemic that could have been averted. I weep for my black and brown brothers and sisters who are brutalized and killed for nothing at all.

I don’t see myself reflected in this society at all. My laws are different and I don’t have to accept rules that hurt other people. Fuck that.

When I wake up in the morning right now, I race to the window to make sure the sun still comes up. Yes, things are that bad. I look outside to check in on the ecosystem of little creatures in my yard. They are still there. Whew. And that is when it hits me. Our “society” really isn’t the entirety of this world. It’s just one among many. The animal kingdom has theirs and it predates us.

This will likely go one of two ways. We could all burn or we could all learn as the Germans did after Adolf. It’s up to us. We either release the pain and hatred from our hearts or let it rot our spirits into dust.

-Andrea